Saturday, August 29, 2009


1. Wake up to Art's voice in the kitchen. Lock your door.
2. Eavesdrop between chapters.
3. Wish Luke Sullivan would address your concerns now instead of promising to touch on them in later chapters.
4. Apologize to Luke Sullivan in later chapters.
5. Run around the shoe store, laugh with the sales lady. Wish all your relationships were based on commission.
6. Second grade teacher has a different face. Duck lips want to know if you're still writing.
7. New shoes do not make you faster. But your feet feel nice, so OK.
8. Post-op Molly collapses in the hallway. Three steps. Rest. Three steps. Rest.
9. Glue the paper to the box. Aunt says "You're so patient." Sounds like "Damn, you're a badass."
10. Analyze your face in the magnified mirror. And never do it again.

Friday, August 28, 2009


1. Man at the post office takes your package in his good hand, asks if you're from New York. Tell the truth.
2. Resist beating the shit out of the cardboard cut-out at the gym. Wonder how everyone else has done the same.
3. Marketing director says "Can you be here by 1?" Answer's no, but you are.
4. Broad shoulders hunker down and scold you for not taking notes. Weak handshake is your second strike.
5. Learn, I guess.
6. Books arrive. Love everyone and everything, until the chapter ends.
7. Mom says "We'll talk later." Don't.
8. A bump beneath the blanket. The cat fights your feet.
9. Learn what mota means and tell him No. Not really.
10. Stay alone, but not forever.

Thursday, August 27, 2009


1. Wake up at noon.
2. Eat a smoothie because you're sick of drinking them. Big bowls of frosty strawberry soup.
3. Ask Bryce to use his printer. Double click, six resumes.
4. Banish one page to the mailbox. Overnight. I'm sorry.
5. Two point two miles on the treadmill before your stomach revolts. Paint the trashcan pink. Front desk guy says Get some rest.
6. Watch Discovery Health instead.
7. Write stupid, "what up" style e-mails to industry professionals on the off-chance someone thinks you're funny.
8. Stuff peppers with Mom. Wonder how long we've had this basil.
9. Lie very still in the grass, in the dark. See everything that's not there.
10. Mom says "We're watching Sunshine Cleaning."
11. Watch Sunshine Cleaning.

Friday, February 6, 2009


1. Deny the hangover long enough to finish breakfast.
2. Tublitz pulls the brain from the bucket. Imagine it's your mother's and the room spins.
3. Wish the burn on your finger looked more like a burn on your finger.
4. Laugh at Evan laughing at Hollie laughing at Jessica laughing at norepinephrine.
5. Watch ants die on YouTube. Remember Rome with its shiny black insects and lunchtime massacres.
6. Try to embrace lightning yellow and fail. A highlighter broke in this batch.
7. Wonder if Neil is Bulgarian.
8. Do not even attempt to cut through the tire.
9. In and out of consciousness on Michael's floor. You want to eat cups.
10. Rationalize irrationality and sleep through the night.

Monday, February 2, 2009

1. You're not doing so well.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


1. Wake up in Las Vegas on a Friday. Ten full minutes before you realize.
2. Tattoo after tattoo. Wonder if birds understand our obsession.
3. From confidence to incompetence in 2 hours flat. You shouldn't hate this.
4. Watch your little circle blossom into a beautiful, bouncing, animated red ball. Resist the urge to print wallet sizes.
5. Failed fart noises. You will never be an 8-year-old boy.
6. The word "queef" kills the laughter. Bury bad jokes beneath more bad jokes.
7. Prod the dead roommate.
8. Consider never eating anything but bagels ever again.
9. Wish you loved everything less.
10. Wish you loved everything more.
11. Continue loving everything the same.
12. Dream of a Mexico where everyone speaks Russian.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wednesday 2 months later

1. Cracker dust in your bed. Sleep's good, but gritty.
2. Suck cold air through your teeth. Coax breakfast back down.
3. Soak your sweatshirt on wet turf. Swear to God you hear the sky move.
4. Try to love the word "supine." Think of taxis, illness, boiled air fresheners.
5. Continue to hate the word "supine."
6. Curl swollen hands into half-fists. Be the girl who stares at her hands.
7. Mount the mirrors. Measure perfectly with your eyes and feel like a fucking badass.
8. Look up every other word on the back of Spanish hot chocolate. Heat milk with a "recipient of fire."
9. Refuse to drop the cuttlefish subject. Forcefeed roommates YouTube videos.
10. Doodle the fuck out of your arm.
11. Use the word fuck twice.
12. Thrice.