1. Wake up twice. Work a bagel in between.
2. Dry myself with last week's towel. Watch my knee bleed.
3. Attempt to position lenses so my eyelashes don't touch. Give up. Squint.
4. Convince Moxie to lick the hot sauce from the tile. Hope cats have no capacity for revenge.
5. Listen to Nicole talk about my skin. Pay Nicole thirty-five dollars to stop talking about my skin.
6. Come home hating home. Listen to the last six minutes of 'Oh Comely' with the transmission in park.
7. Buy two blueberry yogurts. Label one poison.
8. Refuse to believe anyone refers to Sprite as "White Coke." Consider selling Texas back to Mexico.
9. Bookmark recipes. Bake chicken. Kill Dad.
10. Don't really kill dad.