1. Went to the gym. Went to the gym or slept an extra two hours - Choose Your Own Non-Adventure.
2. Realize a lack of brakes two seconds too late. No one dies.
3. Dribble scalding tea down chin and shirt. Whimper in a puddle of brown spit.
4. Nap on Russian Literature notes. Pray for graphite osmosis.
5. Consider deleting iTunes after realizing the Decembrist Revolt was led by Decembrists, not the Decemberists.
6. Keep hood on indoors. Practice shifty eye.
7. Wade the river that used to be 18th St.
8. Rediscover cheese and vomit. Lament the fact that the two are not mutually exclusive.
9. Fail miserably at black nail polish removal. Embrace streaky gray nails.
10. Develop completely rational fear of impending love tri... Heptagon.